8 days after

“These have been two hard days. The pain seems to be intensifying. I became nearly hysterical with crying this morning, scaring Tom and myself. And I know that is just the tip of the iceberg of my sorrow…”

(later in the day)

“Oh, God, please help me! I don’t know how I can live through this. My heart is absolutely shattered. I NEED my baby Malou. Please, God, please – not me, not us, not my sweet baby Malou. Please help me. I don’t know if I can survive this pain.”

I felt so desperate. I struggled to keep it all in, but I couldn’t. I was afraid if I ever truly let myself go to grief, if I screamed and cried like I wanted to, that I would never be able to stop. The intensity of my grief scared me. But I know now that grieving however you want and however long you want – as long as it feels right to you, it is ok. There is no right way, there is no timeline, there is just pain that needs to come out if you are ever to move forward.

Published in: on January 17, 2012 at 09:00  Leave a Comment  

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