“I’ve decided it’s important to love the life that you get and somehow learn to let go of the life you dreamed of.”  – Lolly Winston

I can still see the life I dreamed of
so very clearly.

But it’s not to be…
so I do have to let it go.

I don’t mean I have to let
Malou Amelia
but the life I dreamed of with her,
the plans I made,
the visions I had of her
as my daughter and as a big sister,
the hopes I had for her
all of those
can no longer be,
no matter how I much
I wish it weren’t true.

How is it that
almost three years later
can still be so hard?

Published in: on March 16, 2011 at 11:08  Comments (4)  
Tags: , ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m right there with you, struggling to find acceptance. But you know what? There is no hurry. I’m ok with this. I don’t ever have to accept it either, and I don’t care what anyone says about that.
    Missing Malou.

  2. I sometimes think that acceptance is more a practice than a milestone and that after what we have lived we are going to take a lifetime to excercise it. Sending you hugs.

  3. Mariana, wow, I’ve never really thought about it that way, but that is so true.

  4. Steph, I really think you never stop “dreaming” but it turns into “thinking” on what may have been. I am positive we all do this. I know I do.
    Big hugs,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: