The lost ones…

I had a thought recently,
while walking past our neighborhood school
with Liam in his pram.

I saw all the children
playing outside
and I wondered,

How many are missing?

How many parents
don’t see the children that are there,
but instead see those who are missing.

The lives that should be
living, breathing, laughing, learning.

The ones they lost…
whether by miscarriage or stillbirth
or accidents or illness…
the ones who didn’t make it
long enough to go to school.

The thought made me
enormously sad.

And not just for
Malou.

I have a suspicion
that there are way too many
parents out there who,
when they pass their neighborhood school,
don’t see the hundreds of kids
in front of them,
but instead see the one kid
missing.

Theirs.

Mine.

Ours.

It’s an invisible tie
that binds us…
we don’t even see it ourselves.

Unless we talk about our
children.

All of them.

Even the ones
we miss.

And I guess that’s part of the reason
I keep talking about
Malou Amelia.

Not just for my own sanity.
Not just to honor her.
But to hopefully,
someway, somehow,
help connect with others
by bridging the gaps
we all feel.

Letting other people
in on my pain
helps them appreciate what they have,
and show compassion
to others who may be in a similar situation.

And by sharing my grief,
others,
with a little more strength than me,
can help me carry it.

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Published in: on September 22, 2010 at 08:26  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. That is such a sad, but at the samt time a very beautiful thought! Thinking of you, your little girl and her little brother a lot these days…

  2. Thank you for writing about this, talking about this. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this horrendous loss. You’re right that so many of these ghost babies are hidden away, seen with ghost eyes, longing in the distance but unspoken. Thank you for giving voice to this topic.


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