Two years old

Our dear daughter…

We miss you so much.
Your absence is felt in our family.

You are a big sister now,
just like your mama,
to a little brother.

We hug and love your brother,
and realize
how much we miss
you.

So we hold him extra close,
and give him extra cuddles…

cuddles that are meant for you.

It’s not a comfort
that your brother
is even more loved
because we lost you.

We want our love to go to you,
physically,
not just emotionally.

But it will have to do
and we are so very grateful
to have your brother
in our lives now
to help us through
the days.

Today,
like always,
I send you so much
love
to wherever you are.

And I hope and pray
that we will see each other again.

And I will hug you
and never let you go.

My darling girl.

I miss you more than
my meager words could ever convey.

My birthday wish for you today
is that you are
happy and safe,
warm and wrapped in the embrace
of those who love you,
that you can feel our love,
and know how much happiness
you gave us,
and that you are at peace,
free from all the
pain and hurt and loneliness
that we left behind
feel…

My darling girl.

I wonder what your birthday wish would have been today?

I will never stop celebrating you,
my dear daughter.

I will never stop loving you.

I will never stop missing you.

I will never stop being grateful for you.

And I will never stop mourning you.

I will live for you, my baby girl.
I wish I didn’t have to…
I would have given my life for yours,
but that is not my choice to make.

So I will live for you.

******

Today,
I hope you can all help me
celebrate and remember
Malou Amelia.

You can do that in whatever way you choose…
light a candle
send her a prayer
eat a piece of cake 😉
or anything else!
I’d love it if you also wrote a comment
about what you did.

And
if you have living children,
I hope you will consider
doing something fun with them today.

Create a memory,
something we never really got to do with
Malou.

And then hug them extra tight
and tell them that you love them.

Tom, Liam and I
are planning to visit
Malou’s
grave,
plant some flowers,
drink some sparkling wine
and toast our girl
(well, Liam won’t be drinking the wine of course).
Then we will come home
and watch her video
and blow out two candles for her.

We are also donating
in her memory
to a few organizations
to hopefully make the world
just a little bit better
for some other little girls and boys…

AFESIP

and

International Stillbirth Alliance

and

Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos

***

We love you,
Malou Amelia!
Happy Birthday!

Thanks to Calvin’s parents for creating a cupcake for Malou.
Check it out by clicking here.


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Published in: on May 28, 2010 at 02:06  Comments (10)  
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10 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I have been thinking of your family and especially little Malou so much these days. Tonight I sat and thought about her, quietly, looking out over our garden at a big round moon (where I always see my missing one) and sent her some gentle love. I am not forgetting her, ever, and I hope this helps a tiny bit. Tomorrow I am taking my daughter to my parents’ house for the day, and I will stop on the way and show her the field of cows she is always begging to get a better look at. It’s a silly little thing, but she is not that much older than Malou would be, and I think she will enjoy it.

    Much love to you all.

  2. I lit Hope’s candle for Malou. This was the candle used at her blessing ceremony in the hospital, the day after she was born and the day we came home without her. I light it on special occasions, and I felt today was one of those occasions.
    Happy birthday Malou Amelia, you are loved and missed.
    Stephanie, email me if you want a copy of a photo I took of Hope’s candle, burning bright for her angel friend Malou.
    xo

  3. I watched Malou’s video today and squeezed my 7 month old extra tight tonight, and even let her fall asleep in my arms. Thinking of your sweet family tonight.

  4. My goodness, you have written yet another beautiful tribute to your little daughter. I am so proud of you and how you and Malou are touching the lives of people all over the world. I will tell you what I am planning on doing tomorrow or Saturday for Malou. I will light two candles for her. I will take flowers to the cemetery where her great-grandparents, cousin and many other relatives are. I will watch her video again. I will definitely eat cake! And I will plant flowers in her honor.

    And I will take this moment to tell my husband Harry, my three children, Stephanie, Hank and Zach, my daughter-in-law Rebecca, my son-in-law Tom, and and new baby grandson Liam, how blessed and lucky I am to have you all in my life. And how honored I was to be able to see and hold my first sweet baby granddaughter, Malou Amelia, even if it was for such a short time. Her life has certainly made me a much more compassionate person and for that I am greatful. I will love you always my sweet baby girl…

  5. Happy 2nd birthday to your beautiful, Malou!

    Here is the link to her cupcake: cupcakes.calvinphoenix.com/2010/05/malou-amelia/. I hope she likes like. It will post to Calvin’s Cupcakes at 2:06am – the time she was born. Thinking of you and your family.

    Hugs to you and your family, Stephanie.

  6. Dear Stephanie, Tom, and Liam,
    I woke up this Friday morning- so tired from the week, and then I remembered it is little Malou’s birthday! A bittersweet day of remembrance, longing, and thankfulness for the joy she brought. So,I was so surprised that my devotions at Our Daily Bread was Psalm 31:15a and the theme was ” Our times are in God’s hands, and our souls are in His keeping.” I think that was for Malou. Happy Birthday. Hugs and kisses to all my kids today in her honor, and a wonder if my little baby that I lost to an ectopic pregnancy 22 yrs ago,might be helping her celebrate in heaven today.
    We love you!
    Love, Cynthia and family

  7. Happy Birthday Malou!

    I’m sure many people will always remember your charming, little girl, just like me. (Curious, I know, because i don’t know you and your family, but since I saw Malou’s video, she’s not going out of my mind.)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/50601502@N07/
    Lots of love Heike

  8. Hi Stephanie,
    the photos show our home in Bodman, Germany. The water you see is the Lake Constance.
    xo Heike

  9. I did light a candle for Malou on 28th too after realising I was off with the fairies for my last post and getting the dates wrong. Please forgive me. I know full well Malou’s birthday is just after my Jessica’s. I think of you all such a lot and miss you so much.
    Much Love to all 4.

  10. We miss you too, Carolyn. Big hugs to you.


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