*Saying goodbye*

Today marks the gestational day
– in my current pregnancy –
that we said hello and goodbye to
Malou Amelia.

31 weeks 6 days.

From here on out,
I am in uncharted territory
(for me).

Thankfully,
Malou’s
little brother is a very active little guy,
so I have been doing okay these last few days.

I remember reading other babyloss mamas’ posts,
when they talked about being
“more pregnant than they’d ever been” –
and I just never thought I’d get there.

I am so thankful that I have.

It’s been a strange week for other reasons,
namely because of the number of goodbyes
I’ve been through.

Last Thursday
was my final day of work.

It is hard to believe I will be
a stay-at-home mom
for at least the next year.

I am excited – of course! –
but I was also sad to say goodbye to my colleagues
(even though I will still see them socially).

I am not sure how
I would have gotten through
the past year-and-a-half
if I didn’t have my work
and most of all my colleagues.

I have felt nothing but
unconditional support and love
from all of them,
and it is an incredible feeling.

I am very lucky.

I also had to say goodbye to my dear friend,
Carolyn,
whom you might “know” by her
faithful comments on every one of my posts. 🙂

Carolyn and I moved to Denmark
at the same time
and met each other in our first
Danish class.

After over 4 years here,
she had to move back to
Australia
and it is hard to believe
my babies’ honorary auntie
won’t be here to welcome
Baby Boy in person.

Just a few days after Carolyn departed,
Tom and I drove
my cousin Heidi and her husband Andy,
who have been living here for the past 3 years,
to the airport for their big move back home.

One more goodbye.
Ugh.

I am very grateful, though,
that Heidi and I got to know each other
so much better while she lived here.

She and Andy left us with many
wonderful parting gifts
(things my American readers would never understand…
ziplocs, for example ;))

but the best was the blue blanket
Heidi made for Baby Boy.
These soft “blankies,”
which Heidi makes for all the babies
she knows,
somehow always turn out to be
the “favorite”
(so I’ve heard!).

And if that wasn’t enough “goodbye” for one week,
I took – and passed – my final Danish exam yesterday.

I thought I would feel only relief and happiness
(you cannot imagine how much
I have complained about going to night classes
for the past couple of years)…

but instead,
I feel a bit empty.

As in, what do I do now???
I’ve been so busy and now I’m not.

But I’m sure I’ll get over it!
I have a few projects in mind
to work on in the next month
and when
Malou’s
brother arrives
safely, safely, please, God, safely
I’m assuming I’ll feel busy again. 😉

And while we’re on the topic of
goodbyes
I will mention that I plan to write less frequently
(i.e. not every Wednesday)
after the new year.

I will let you know more later.

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Published in: on December 16, 2009 at 14:19  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I will miss your posts. But, understand why you will be cutting back. Sending good vibes for the last few weeks of your pregnancy and for Malou’s brother’s safe arrival.

  2. Yay for passing the Danish exam! I’m sorry you’ve gone through so many goodbyes lately. As a person who moved 12 times before going off to college, I know how that goes. I have found that Facebook is a wonderful way to stay in touch with old friends if you have it.

    I laughed at the part about the ziplocs. I lived in Peru for my entire childhood, so I completely understand! My mom used to save the aluminum foil after we had baked potatoes so she could reuse it. 🙂

    I too will miss your posts, but I totally understand about cutting back. As you have noticed, I no longer post as often on Ada’s blog. Cutting back doesn’t mean that you love your child any less, but just that you’re focusing on the child that you CAN take care of every day. As Hunter reminded me the other day, there’s nothing more I can do for Ada. But I sure wish I could.

  3. It’s a sensible thing to cut down on Malou’s posts, just write when you have time or special thoughts you need to express. Of course I will look out for new thoughts.
    Big Hugs from Australia


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