Getting ready for Christmas

Mentioned in one of last week’s posts,
we have now decorated
Malou’s
grave.

Here are some pictures of what we’ve done so far.

Sometimes, like today, it takes my breath away
how much I miss her.

My mind goes back to the days
we had with her
often now…

I’ve accepted she’s gone,
but I don’t want to.

Most days
I am okay,
but some days
the pain and disbelief are right there.

If I think of being pregnant
with her,
I’m okay.

But if my mind wanders
to the time we lost her,
I can barely hold it together.

So I push it aside.

Not sure if that is the healthiest way
to deal with the feelings,
but I am so tired of dealing with them
that that is what I do.

I love you so much, baby girl.

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Published in: on November 25, 2009 at 15:30  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I know what you mean… the holidays are the hardest for my husband and I. I think it is not fair sometimes!

  2. What a beautiful place for Malou.

  3. Malou’s grave looks very pretty. I’m sure she is smiling. You did well in managing to find all the letters you required 🙂
    Hugs


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