Happiness?

Is happiness playing a game of cards,
(Hearts, let’s say)
and enjoying it?

Able to discuss strategy,
and good-naturedly “kibbutz”
about who’s shooting the moon?

Last summer,
I numbly sat through card games
with my hubby, mom, brother and sis-in-law,
just not getting it.

How could this be fun?
How could anyone think this is fun? Ever?
That it was important?

And now one summer later,
I have played the same game
with the same people,
and I enjoyed myself.

I don’t quite get it.

I’m happy I’m here,
but I wonder if I’m losing out
on that glimpse that grief gives you –
of what’s truly important.

Well,
maybe I do get it.

Happiness is finding joy in small things,
spending time with loved ones,
and enjoying each other’s company.

Speaking of which,
I’m looking forward
to travelling to the US today
to visit with family and friends
(and plenty of card games,
I’m sure).

Just sad to leave
Tom and
Malou
behind.

We stopped by her grave over the weekend
and placed a bunch of flowers and plants
in her little area.

It was so beautiful,
I wished I had my camera
(I used my camera phone
but can’t figure out what to do with them now).

I’ m sad that that’s all
I can do for my daughter,
but glad we can do something,
create some beauty
in this world
for her.

I love you so much, sweetie. Take care of your daddy while I’m away. And thanks for sending your “Auntie” Carolyn a sign that you are well.

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Published in: on September 23, 2009 at 11:25  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I was so thrilled to have Malou send me the sign she was with me. It was great. The most beautiful and big dragonfly I have ever seen.
    I feel things will just get better and better for you now. Do have a great time in US with the family and friends. My heart is with you.
    Big Hugs.

  2. You’re right. It is about finding joy in the little things.

    I wanted to let you know that there is a butterfly for Malou up on my site. Click on Ella’s Parade of Butterflies.

    Have a safe trip!


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