Tom and I have traveled
to Washington, Oregon & California,
Germany & Sweden
and Mexico & Belize
our baby died.

And I’ve never been able
to shake that sad feeling
that something is missing.

Someone is missing.

But this trip to Greece
is different.

For the first time in
over 13 months
I find myself
truly enjoying myself.

Still thinking of
of course,
still having moments of sadness
when I see little girls
playing in the sand
with their mamas and daddies.

But there isn’t
this dark cloud of sorrow
that I’ve felt blanketing me
for so long.

I’m not  naive.

I know that it will come back,
and that’s okay.

I know a vacation doesn’t solve

But being around family
in the sun,
my memories of
are sweeter than ever.

Not bittersweet,
just sweet
(for the most part).

Here are a few pictures
of what we’ve been up to:

Atop the Acropolis overlooking Athens

 Lunch in beautiful Oia, Santorini

Sunset in Santorini

View from our deck in Oia
On top of the world...or at least the highest point on Santorini
Best swimming hole EVER (on Tinos)

Published in: on July 8, 2009 at 12:55  Comments (7)  
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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hi, so glad you are having such a good time. And that Malou’s memories are becoming more sweet than bitter. But how can you not have a good time with
    your wonderful family and husband surrounding you? (Well it might just be a TEENSY bit more fun if your mama was there with you.)
    I miss you all and am happy that you have had time to update your blog while on vacation. This way I can sort of be in touch with all of you. I am looking forward to all the pictures and stories. Love you…

  2. So great to hear you are having such a great time. Obviously the timing (and company) is right and you are in the perfect place (so I believe). Malou will always be with you and it’s good to have the sweet memories and imagine her playing in the sun. I am sure she is happy and giggling in the lovely clear waters of Greece – always with you in spirit. Continue having fun with your family. Love to all from us.

  3. Hi Steph,
    So glad to hear you’re enjoying your time in Greece. I’m picturing you in the warm water right now. And I feel a little bit closer to you right now as I’m in Paris, although the weather here isn’t quite as warm and sunny. Say hello to your brothers from me. Enjoy the rest of your time there, restful warm vacations are always the best for mind, body and spirit.
    Love, Keely

  4. Hi,

    I found your blog on the baby loss directory and I just cried and cried watching your video of your sweet Malou. What a beautiful name! I could absolutely relate. We held our baby for a few days in the hospital, afterward in the funeral home and again right before his burial. It warmed my heart to see someone else had done the same thing. So heartbreaking and so beautiful.


  5. Steph,
    I am so happy to hear you are happy! Malous will always be your sweet angel, and it is wonderful that you are starting to have more sweetness than sadness. Much love to all of you!

  6. The photos are great. Such a beautiful place for such a beautiful family to be together. I am so happy for you that all is looking good. You both look wonderful too. Keep well.
    Thanks for the weekend too.

  7. oh, i’d love to be in the islands, swimming in that beautiful turqoise water.

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