I had a dream…

Malou
was still dead

but we had
a newborn daughter.

Although
I was very happy
I was also very sad.

I was holding
our second-born child,
completely in love
but sobbing,
wanting to hold
Malou
in my arms.

Not instead
but
in addition.

Although I am focusing
a lot right now
on getting pregnant
and pushing
some of my grief away

I know it is only
temporary.

I think this dream
was telling me
to prepare –

that pregnancy
won’t magically make
my grief disappear.

That I will always want
Malou
here with me
where she belongs.

I love you more than I love anything, Malou Amelia. You take my breath away every day. Sov sødt, min dejlige lille pige.

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Published in: on February 18, 2009 at 17:22  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Our subconscience is funny in the way it plays “tricks” on us. I am sure this is very real. Why would it not be?? Yes, maybe God’s way of gently preparing you for the future. A mothers love just grows with each baby, no one is left out. Sometimes we love till it hurts and this is where you are now. Love is a great force and sees us through many situations. Take care. Hugs


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