Planning ahead

Although I am still in
the two-week wait
(only 4 more days until I test!)

I am trying to think ahead
and not put
all my eggs
in one basket
so to speak.

Of course, perhaps
next month
I will

as tonight
we had an information meeting
about IVF
where we literally
would be putting
“all my eggs”
into my basket
(aka uterus)

*insert giggle here*

(unless you don’t think it’s funny,
which is entirely possible,
also considering I just found out
the Catholic Church
considers IVF
“a gravely evil act”
– I’ll share my thoughts
about that
if we decide to go
with IVF)

The meeting
was great
and the doctor presenting
started off great
by showing a list of
Myths
about how to get pregnant.

They included
among other things
“Relax”
and
“Adopt a Child”
(because that will certainly
mean you will get pregnant!)
which got every woman
in there
laughing
and
nodding their heads.

 We also learned about the protocol
and steps for going forward.
We’ll find out more
at our appointment
on Friday.

Anyways

I am doing some
(more) research
to determine
how I can better prepare my body
to become pregnant.

It includes things
having to do with
exercise
food
alcohol
caffeine
stress
etc.

Researching this
and planning ahead
is helping me stay
relaxed and focused
and centered
and so I will hopefully
not crash this weekend
if I get a negative pregnancy test.

Besides
I will be too busy to crash
because we are having a
Valentine’s Day / Belated 30th Birthday
Party
at our house
and
it’s too tiring
to crash every weekend.

Have I mentioned
Grief
is
exhausting?

My dear Malou, even though I am looking ahead and hoping to bring a sibling of yours into the world, I hope you know that you will always be my first child, my first daughter, my first pure love. No one can ever replace you, or the special place in my heart that is all yours. Your siblings will know you and love you just as your daddy and I do.

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Published in: on February 11, 2009 at 21:45  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The meeting sounds good and also for you to see that there are many other couples in a similar place as you. I would not worry about what the Catholic church thinks about IVF. The church is a guide to living a “good Christian life”.. It has not tried to have a baby. “The Church” does not know what you and Tom are feeling or what you have been through. And when you do have another baby, it will be another member of the church. You do live a good life, doing the right things, obeying the law etc and I believe
    that things to do with your very personal life and your body are your decisions. You are not going against the “church” and it’s teachings. I believe God gave these doctors the brains and helped them gain the knowledge to help people so it cannot be against God. Go forward with what you feel is right for you and be happy with your decisions. I’m looking forward to seeing you Saturday. Hugs.

  2. Hi Steph,
    Its good to hear you sounding positive and I am sending positive thoughts your way for a positive test this weekend, as well as a wonderful Vday/belated Bday party. I miss you tons and I am always thinking about you, even if I haven’t been very good about writing this last month or so. I agree with what Carolyn said above, I hope you don’t worry too much about what “The Church” (or anyone else for that matter) might think about IVF. You are a such a good hearted person and everything you are trying is out of love. Love for Tom, love for Malou, love for yourself, and love for any new family that might be coming your way. I always think that you have try and do whatever feels right for you at any given time. So fingers crossed and positive thoughts being sent your way. Love you!

  3. Hey sweetie! I just caught up on you recent posts and it sounds like quite a whirlwind of emotion. I am so happy to read the last note sounding so positive. I am so excited and hopeful for you and Tom. I believe that Malou will have a beautiful sibling, and I can’t wait to meet him or her. I think that being hopeful and loving your body is the right thing to do. I think your body is just healthier overall when your mind is onboard. So, the advice you got earlier, sounds like great advice. I love you so much, and I am thinking of you everyday!


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