God Bless Us

Especially now
during the holiday season
I have been hearing and reading
a lot
about people
“being blessed.”

God has certainly blessed our family this year!

Thanks to God for all of our blessings!

We are truly blessed!

It’s all over the place.
I’m glad some people
get a lot of comfort
out of their relationship with
God
and gain peace or satisfaction or whatever
from His presence
that they see in their lives.

And in fact
I do believe in
God
and I do feel blessed
in many ways.

Not the least of which
is how thankful
I am
to have had
Malou Amelia.

Just to know she was alive
inside me
for those 6 months and 10 days

(shocking to me now
that she has been gone
longer than she was here)

is a blessing.

I have said it before
and I mean it:

I would do it all over again.

All the pain
is, in some strange way,
worth it
because it brought me
my girl.

BUT…

We lost our daughter.

She is dead.

Does that mean
I should write
in my Christmas card

God has certainly cursed our family this year!

I mean
what is the implication?

If things are going well
it seems like
God gets the credit.

But if things are going poorly
then it’s certainly not
God’s fault.

At least
this is how it sometimes
seems to me.

Personally
and of course no one knows
anything for sure,
I think God
wants only the best for everyone
and He doesn’t pick or choose
who gets His “blessings”
just like He doesn’t pick or choose
who has to suffer tragedy.

I just wish
with all my heart
that this type of sadness
didn’t exist for anyone.

It is so exhausting
to think
we have to go
the whole entire rest of our lives
missing
Malou.

And yet we will.

And others do.

And people will have to in the future too.

It is just not right or fair.

So God, listen up please!
Bless me
Bless Tom
Bless Malou
Bless my family
Bless my friends
Bless all the lost babies
Bless their parents
Bless all those we love
Please bless us!
~Thank you~

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Published in: on December 31, 2008 at 19:02  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I could have written this post…I love it. I’m in total agreement with you.

  2. As always, your blog entry is raw and true. It’s a good point, people thank God for the good – but those who blame Him for the bad are viewed as ungrateful or bitter. I don’t see anything wrong with signing your Christmas card with your true opinion of the challenges presented to you this year; although it may not be very Merry!

    I love you Steph – and may 2009 in its entirety be a year of blessings!!! xoxo

  3. Yes, we are all blessed to be here on earth and to have our experiences, both good and bad. This makes us who we are. Sometimes it is extremely hard and it takes a long time for our wounds to heal, but, in time, they do get easier to live with. You are correct in what you say (again). I am sure you will be blessed this year with another miracle, we will all feel blessed for you when this happens. He will reward you for simply being the fantastic people you and Tom are. Happy New Year. Hugs.


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