Missing Malou in Mexico

After a great
in the US
for Thanksgiving

Tom and I are now
on a 23 day mini-adventure.

And all the sadness
I have been
pushing away
for the last week

is here.

Hopefully not to stay
too long.

It is strange,
(to me)

I am in a place
that normally makes me happy
and  I am
with thoughts of my sweet, beatiful little girl

I have seen a lot of
which you may or not may know
remind me of

And even though we are here
and I want to enjoy it so much
and I am enjoying it
I am still left with the
the realization that

is dead.

My poor baby.

I can´t escape
that no matter how far I travel.

Oh, Malou, I miss you more than anyone could imagine. You make me cry with tears of sadness but also of gratitude. I love you so much my sweet, sweet girl.

P.S. The clerk at the hotel mentioned my daughter.
I about freaked out
(with happiness)
that he had maybe seen her spirit with us.

Until I found out that
another couple
(who looked like us)
was here with a little infant daughter.


Published in: on December 4, 2008 at 00:34  Comments (4)  
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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh, I am so sorry! This must be so hard. If you’re like me and love to travel (and it sounds like you do), then I’m sure it’s hard to know that you’re not sharing this trip with Malou. I’m especially sorry that you went through that comment at the hotel. Maybe it was Malou’s way of telling you that she is on the trip with you in spirit…like the dragonflies.

    By the way, I’m curious to know where you are in Mexico. I’ve been to Mexico City, Oaxaca, Merida, and a little bit of Cancun and Playa del Carmen. I LOVE Oaxaca. You can email me if you want.

  2. Hi to MY sweet baby girl. I am happy you are at least loving the food and eating well. That is good for you right now.
    I do totally understand that once again, going somewhere new and different without your baby girl, is going to bring to the surface your great loss. I will just pray for you that you CAN enjoy your time with Tom and think of Malou with more love, than sadness. I think that those dragonflies are signs from Malou and she is telling you that she is happy in Heaven and for you to enjoy the beauty surrounding you.
    I am thinking of you everyday. Love you SO much. Mom

  3. Definate signs that Malou is with you on your wonderful holiday. I can only imagine the sadness and tears of both sadness and joy. Please allow yourself to cry for all reasons, it is ok. You are only human and you are in a very emotionally charged area. Lots of beliefs and spirits and the dragonflies seem to be telling you this. Relax and take it all in. Enjoy your much needed time with Tom. I am sure it is emotional and spiritual for you both. Hugs.

  4. Beth, what do you think of Merida? We are thinking of visiting there, along with Campeche. We also want to go to the Chiapas region, but not sure if we want to spend that much time on the bus.

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