20 Wednesdays Ago…

…I first saw

Malou’s face.

That particular Wednesday
May 28th
was both the saddest and happiest day of my life.

I am starting this blog
(something I always thought I was too private to do)
for many reasons.

And I am starting this blog today
for many reasons.

You see, today is

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

(so join me in lighting a candle)

Today is also the day we are starting our first fertility treatment (more on that later).

Finally, today is also sadly the day to mark the loss of another beloved family member.

21 years ago today
Michele was taken too soon.

So join me if you will as I use Wednesdays as a time to publicly remember my
This will give me a much-needed outlet for my thoughts,
and also give you a glimpse into my world.

I am afraid
that no one sees that I am still grieving
That even though I am smiling,
my heart is hurting.
My world is not the same.
And I can’t go back in time,
although that is all I want to do.

I hope you will read and respond by leaving comments. So many people ask

What can I do?

So this is what you can do for me.

And today, you can also send a little prayer up to Heaven that our oh.so.missed loved ones are okay and knowing just how much we love them.

Today and always.

Published in: on October 15, 2008 at 16:04  Comments (8)  
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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Ada was also born on a Wednesday – 13 Wednesdays ago. Today I would have officially been full term.

    I’m glad that you started a blog. Thanks for always reading mine.

    When I light a candle tonight, I will be lighting it for Malou as well. I’m wearing a ribbon right now for her, too.

  2. I love the idea Steph, and my hopes are that your thoughts can help spread comfort to some of those millions of mothers across the world who grieve as you do. With your permission, I will put this link at the end of the video. I look forward to future posts.

  3. She looks like you!!! She is simply gorgeous! Thank you for sharing such a lovely picture with us, now I have a face to the soul I pray for.

    Like I said, whenever I think of Little Malou I picture her laughing with other beautiful babies up in heaven, jumping from cloud to cloud. xoxo

  4. You have a way with words, Steph. Like Zach said, I also feel that you will help countless other parents wade through their heartbreak.

    Thanks also for remembering Michele today.

  5. Thanks for all your responses (also those you sent via email)! It is comforting to read.
    Zach, of course you can link my video. I will put it on this site soon too.

  6. Now i know how to do this instead of e-mail. Steph, this is a wonderful idea and I am sure it will help you talk about Malou. This beautiful photo is worth a million words, words of love. It reminds me of an Anne Geddes photo. I am sure Malou knew she was loved here on earth as she knows she is still and always will be loved in the land of angels. When I was a kid my favourite book was called “The Littlest Angel” and now I know who that is. XOXO

  7. […] Wave of Light One year ago today I started this blog with this post. […]

  8. Happy Birthday Malou! My heart tells me you and Bela are friends and play all the time.

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